Today was all about tennis. My three sons participated in a tennis tournament at the club we are members at and I played one solid hour of play with my 8year old daughter Emma.
The three boys had made it to the second round (one to the third) prior to today and we only hoped that whether they won or lost, they would simply do their best. Well the good news is that having watched them play, I know they all did their best. I was going to report as “bad news” that they all lost, but I remembered something that my dad once told me.
We have a wonderful uncle (great-uncle to me) named Fahmi. Fahmi was once telling my Dad about his successes when he was interrupted with the following “Uncle, don’t tell me about your successes, tell me about your failures”. What wisdom that was then and remains today. The revelance struck me as I saw my three sons eliminated (some worse than others) in rapid succession. What I hoped was that in defeat, they had learned something about themselves and their opponents, to use in future such encounters.
The most important lesson I felt they learned today….learning how to lose. Winning gracefully is not quite as difficult as losing gracefully. Respecting your opponent and congratulating them for a job well done is a difficult thing for adults, never mind a 10 year old child.
I juggled between watching them on the other courts and playing with Emma. Emma had not a care in the world. She was just so happy that the once-a-week hour which I had booked at the club was consecrated to her because her brothers were all busy on other courts. We had a great time, she hit some fabulous shots and I just relaxed watching my girl simply enjoy the attention she exclusively had (a rare thing in a house of 4 kids!).
We certainly don’t wish our children many failures in life. But I wonder if it isn’t in the definition of the term that we also can’t find more wisdom. How can losing be winning? Perhaps it has more to do with the term of time within which we define the game.
Sass